New Year, New Book

Jan 31, 2022

This is a fragment from a novel I started writing a few years ago and which I intent to finish this year. It's called FIVE (provisional title). I wrote it in 2017 and then sent it to editors and got some feedback. Now, exactly five years later, I feel it's time to go back and take it to its final shape.

Writing books takes time and it's not just the act of writing. Most of the time is spent letting the book grow and take shape and this happens in silence, while apparently nothing happens. Allowing this phase of 'nothingness' is the most important part of writing a book for me. It's what makes the book into what it's meant to be. And now I feel this one is ready to finally come into the world.  

Here's how it starts...


We have a deal, my lovely. When the time comes, I will be there. I will show up, and it will take some time until you recognise me. Until I recognise you, too. Because down there, we sometimes get confused. There are too many faces, too many stories. We are all the same, of course, but on earth we live under the illusion that we are different, that we are separate. So it will not be hard to meet, but it will be difficult to know. That’s why, once we meet, we will need a sign. And because our tie is one of blood, it will be blood that will bring us together.

I will be there, I promise you now. I will sit with you in the darkest hour of your life. I will listen to your stories and hold your hand as you dream your nightmares. I will be there for you when you wake up, and I will make sure the shadows have gone again into hiding before I go. Because I will go, my lovely. Once the promise is fulfilled, I will go. Ours will not be an encounter that lasts a lifetime. We know this already, we know this now, up here, but we will forget, because this is what we do when we become humans. We always forget. We believe we came from nowhere and we go into nothingness. We believe we are alone, we believe no one understands and no one cares. And how wrong we are…

I will hear your call when you reach the point where you cannot go on any further. Just dream of me then, and I will come. Wherever I am and whatever I do, I will hear and answer your call. I promise you this now.

And when I come, look into my eyes, my lovely. Then look behind the eyes. You will see it if you look deep enough. You will recognise the light of who I once was. Touch my face gently, and remember it’s just a shape, as there have been others and many more to come. But the eyes won’t lie. The glow that lives there is always the same. This is who I am, and you will know me. And then, my lovely, there will be blood, just to be sure. Maybe only a drop, but it will speak to you of a deal made with blood that comes to be fulfilled.

And it will be done. I will sit with you long enough to pay my debt, the debt of blood I carry. I will do what I have to do, and then you will set me free so that once again we can dance like rays of light in the infinite sparkle of the universe. Soaring higher and higher towards the centre of all beauty, knowing this is where we come from and what we are made of. All as one, as we were always meant to be.

I will come, my lovely. Know this, as you prepare to jump once again. I will hold your hand just as I do now, and I will help you in this difficult task you set yourself up for. I will come and do my part. No matter how far you will travel or how different we will appear, no matter how difficult it will be to believe and how impossible to make it happen.

I will be there. Because promises made in heaven cannot be broken on earth.

When you read this prologue what do you imagine the book to be about?

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